Happiness, Conferences, and Music.

I have been really happy recently.  The sun is shining. The weather's getting warmer. Spring has arrived! 

Taken at Jackson's Mill

But it's more than the weather that's causing the change in my mood.  I've also been working at being happy.
A few weekends ago, I went to an LDS Young Single Adult Conference at Jackson's Mill and got to meet the lovely couple behind A Blog About Love.  These two taught me so much in the three short days of the Conference.  What hit me most over the weekend was that happiness is a choice.  And not that "fake it 'til you make it" nonsense I've always heard.  I tried that method for nine years and it definitely doesn't work!

Mara and Danny Kofoed

Instead, they emphasized finding happiness independent from circumstances.  Circumstances are never constant and they are going to change- sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.  They also emphasized choosing to react positively to negative things.  Mara articulates it a lot better in this post.  Basically, it's all about inner harmony.

   

See? Happy!

   Another thing that has my spirit up is one of my favorite things: music.  It's always been a huge part of my life and nothing is better than something upbeat that makes me want to dance.  So here are a few of the song's I've been blasting lately.  Enjoy!

1. Lucky Day by Nicola Roberts 
2. Good Morning Sunshine by Alex Day (I wake up to this every morning.)
3. Elle Me Dit by Mika (I still have no idea what's going on in this video, but the song is great.)
4. Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga
5. I Love It by Icona Pop (Some language)
6. Do It Anyway as covered by Liam Dryden
7. How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds
8. Carried Away by Passion Pit (This has to be one of the coolest videos ever.)
9. Just Can't Get Enough as covered by Glee
10. One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks) as covered by One Direction

"Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice!"

This weekend is one of my two favorite weekends that happen every year: General Conference!

If my non-LDS friends are reading this, they may be thinking, "But Chelsea, what's this General Conference that you speak of?  I do not know what this is."  Well, General Conference is when those of the LDS faith gather together, whether it be in the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, in church buildings around the world, or by listening or watching on the internet, TV, or radio in their own homes, to listen as Prophets and Apostles of the Lord, give us guidance from Him.

Yes.  You read that right.  As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I and other members of the church, believe that the Lord still speaks to us today through His chosen prophets and apostles. Thomas S.  Monson, his councilors, and the Quorum of The Twelve Apostles are living prophets, seers, and revelators- men called to speak for the Lord and guide His Church upon the Earth in our time.  Our loving Father in Heaven has not allowed us to continue to stumble in the darkness to find our own way to Him, but has given us a living, everlasting beacon of continued light  and guidance.

General Conference is divided into four sessions: Saturday morning (noon EST) and afternoon (4 pm EST) and Sunday morning (noon EST) and afternoon (4 pm EST).  These sessions take place during the first weekends of April and October. Here is a link to where you can watch the sessions live.  All the sessions are wonderful and inspiring, but if you can only make time to watch one session of Conference, I recommend catching the Sunday morning session as that is when Thomas S. Monson, current President of the Church, will be speaking.

When I was out in Utah, I traveled the three and a half hours up to Provo to stay with some friends from West Virginia (well hung out with a lot of people, stayed with one (Thanks so much Courtney!)) and we went up to Salt Lake for two sessions that October and one in April.  The first time being in the Conference Center was an amazing experience and one I will never forget.

We had tickets for the Saturday morning session so we got up early (Conference starts at 10 when you're in Utah) and drove the 45ish minutes up to Salt Lake.  From there we waited in line and then found our seats.  The Spirit in the Conference Center was so strong.  A little bit before the Conference started, we were all asked to stand as the First Presidency walked out and took their seats on the stand.  The Spirit, which was already so strong, intensified.  The still, small voice of the Spirit whispered, "These are men of God."

That experience is just one of many reasons I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I bear my testimony to anyone who reads this that this the true church upon the Earth today.  It was restored through Joseph Smith Jr. by the power of the Lord.  The Lord's hand is in this work and it is marvelous.  It has been the constant in my life and I have been made stronger when I turn to it.  I know these things because I prayed to know that they were true and the Holy Ghost, the third member of the Godhead, touched my heart and allowed me to know the truthfulness of these things.

But don't take my word for it.  Watch General Conference this weekend with an open heart and ask God if these things are true.  In Matthew 7:20 it states, "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."  This is just one of many fruits of the gospel of Christ.  It is delicious unto me.  It has blessed my life and I know it can bless yours if you will let it.

    

He Is Risen!

Happy Easter everyone!
With it being Easter Sunday, I wanted to write about something that is on my mind: The Atonement.
I took an Institute class this summer called "The Atonement in the Book of Mormon".  When I went into the class, I felt I had a fairly good grasp on what the Atonement was.  When the class ended, I felt I had learned a lot, but that I really knew nothing.  Which is a sign of the complexion and vastness of the Atonement.  The class met eight times and each time we met, we'd tackle a different aspect of the Atonement.  So I learned a little about different facets, as opposed to studying one deeply.
For those wondering what the Atonement is, True to the Faith (a gospel reference book published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) says, "The word atone means to reconcile, or to restore to harmony. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be reconciled to our Heavenly Father. We can ultimately dwell in His presence forever, having been “made perfect through Jesus”." In essence, Jesus Christ suffered for our sins to make up the difference when we fall short and to know how to comfort and help us when we need it.  He conquered death and rose again so we could inherit all the Father hath.  As President Bruce C. Hafen put it, "But, after all we can do, the Atonement can fill that which is empty, straighten our bent parts, and make strong that which is weak."
Since it is Easter Sunday, I am reminded once again how much our Savior loves each one of us regardless of the choices we might have made.  I know I fall short and I make mistakes and I don't always do the things I should.  But I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father and the love of my Savior always but especially when I felt I didn't deserve it.  And that has made all the difference in my life.

4 AM Angst

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life and choices and just normal things a twenty year old girl who, basically, put her life on hold for something that definitely did not work out would think about.  I guess you could say that I've been having a bit of an existential crisis as of late.  And you probably wouldn't be wrong.
With the exception of a mini-rant about packing, I keep this blog pretty optimistic, because that is the persona I have chosen to present to the world at large.  Beginning of January I wrote about how everything that had happened was just an opportunity to start over.  And at the time, that was exactly how I felt.
Soon after, my outlook changed.  Not because things got worse, but because depression is a thing and it, for lack of an adequate word, sucks.  I've been struggling with depression since I was in sixth grade.  It knows my triggers and weak spots (which is a whole 'nother blog post, let me assure you) and being back in a place with so many awful memories and being blindsided by the absolute last person I expected to hurt me, I had left my self wide open for attack.
Depression is a mental illness.  It makes me lose all motivation to do anything.  Getting out of bed is a struggle so forget wanting to do anything else.  And since my hours at work were slowly getting cut, there were a lot of days spent in pajamas watching mindless TV shows on my laptop.
And obviously, you have the emotional side of depression.  I flip-flopped between indifference, bitter anger, and soul-crushing hopelessness (emphasis on the latter.)  The best way to describe depression is imagine having a little dementor from Harry Potter follow you around everywhere, but he's only affecting you.  Sounds pleasant, right?
With that comes the physical side.  Carrying that much sadness around with you is heavy- literally.  At times, it felt my all my emotional baggage was piled on top of me (think The Junk Lady from Labyrinth only instead of stuff, years of unresolved issues from bullying mixed with the current rejection and heartache.)
I say all this not for pity or for attention, but because this blog is an insight into my mind.  And my mind is not all sunshine and optimism as much as I wish it was.  And also because writing helps me heal.  I've wrote I don't know how many posts about my depression since it is something I've dealt with for nearly half my life, but they all have been deleted.  I couldn't finish them.  It was too hard.  I don't talk about it that much either. I hate complaining about my life especially when most of the time I can't put a concrete reason on why I feel as bad as I do.  And because there are so many misconceptions about depression and for a long time I listened and feared how I would be perceived.
With that said, I'm going to end this here before I chicken out and delete it again.
  

A Change of Address

Okay, so there's not a physical change of address (unless you're way behind and didn't know I moved back to West Virginia.).  Nope.  But this blog has a new url which has been blatantly stolen from the song "When We First Met" by hellogoodbye.

 The second verse starts "Oh Chelsea Lynn" which happens to be the part of my name that won't change when I get married.  Fun fact (or sad fact depending on your point of view): I listened to this song for months before realizing that my name was in it.  It was a good song before, but now it will forever be one of my favorite songs.
But 'ldswordpainter' has not disappeared forever.  Oh no.  It is now the url for my writing blog (click the link to go there and make my day).  Why do I need a writing blog?  No idea.  I got the idea at around 2 am and ran with it.  Nothing's there except for a welcome post explaining it better for now, but soon it will be filled with words.
...In theory.

Take Chances, Make Mistakes, and Get Messy!

Sometimes things happen that you never foresaw happening.  Sometimes, these things are wonderful and surpass what you had envisioned for your own life.  And sometimes, you change everything for something or someone and it all comes crashing down.
I'm living in the after math of the crash right now.
Now would be the time that it would be really easy to hold company with Coulda, Woulda, and Shoulda.  I could have stayed in Cedar City.  I wouldn't have been so hasty to change all my plans.  I should have weighed the consequences of things not working out when I decided to move yet again.  I guess that's why hindsight is perfect.  If I could go back, maybe I would have done things differently.  
I don't have a TARDIS though, so I'm trying to look at the bright side.  I've gone from having a (fairly) solid short-term life plan to well, not having much of one.  I'm trying to decide right now just what it is I want to do.  I want to go back to college, but where?  I could go back to Utah, or move to Columbus for my own reasons.  The world is my playground.  I can go anywhere.
I have heard from multiple people over the past year that I have talent.  That I'm going to go places with the gifts I have been given.  I'm looking at this mishap as a clean slate to chase after those talents and dreams unhindered by thoughts of how they will effect others (or specifically, one other person).
I look forward to whatever life is going to throw at me next.  I know it won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.    

They Like Me!: An Announcement (With an UPDATE)

Let it be known throughout the land that Chelsea L. Conner's photo "Let's Set the World On Fire" taken from the top of the Empire State Building, is now on display in the building's highly trafficked Fifth Avenue Lobby.  Hers was one of 50 selected out of the top 100 voted on by the public.

Bottom left!

  This has combined two of my passions: photography and the city that stole my heart.  To have my work hung beside other amazing photographs has been a dream come true.

UPDATE 4/21/13:

This week that picture was the Empire State Building's profile picture.  As of this update, two people have commented on it, 13 people shared it, 24 people 'like' it, and who knows how many have seen it!  What is my life?